How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
honey bunches of taint.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
