I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
