Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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