At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
