He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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