suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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