so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
