i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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