I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize