we have pet lesbian snakes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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