READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize