1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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