I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sober January is a disaster.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
