I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
