The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
True strength comes from lack of pants
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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