How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
