hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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