This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
