Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize