I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
