Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
