The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
