You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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