If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
