when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
