Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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