Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
