he shaved USA in his pubs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
