You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
