In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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