Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
