Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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