Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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