I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
