I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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