I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
