i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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