I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
