i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize