last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
