paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Randomize
