You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
