No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize