I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
