That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize