The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
