I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
