I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
