Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
