my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
