dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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