oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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