Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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