whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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