I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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