When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
