Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize