1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
