by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
