Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
