Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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